"The Wait"

As the clouds formed in the sky,
I looked right up to see the try,
Of stars beneath the misty night,
To shine in darkness, Oh so bright..

I helplessly looked for the moon,
That would be shining bright soon,
But then I realised my bitter fate,
To look for light within my wait.

I turned to see the raindrops fall,
From the clouds, soaring tall,
The pitter patter as they crashed,
Onto hard ground of concrete mashed.

I woke up to see it was day,
The stars had had it up their way,
As the rain, it hadn't stopped,
Through the clouds it still dropped.

I hopefully looked up to see,
A beaming rainbow behind me,
But then I realised my bitter fate,
There was no light within my wait.

So I decided to close my eyes,
Slowly remember all the lies,
The words I spoke, the truth they hide,
All those times that I'd tried...

To forget the darkness, hide the truth,
Beneath the drudgery we call the youth,
just like the clouds hide the sky,
I hid all the things I'd lied...


I hid them so deep within,
that not a soul knew my sin.
One may find, one may search,
But deep within, nothing lurks.

For, all that came had to pass,
Bitter fame and morning grass,
All the love turned to hate,
Like light to darkness within my wait.

                                               -Aneesha Tulluri.

"Now"

What is now, what is then?
What is darkness, when is when?
What are the lies that lie within?
What is this moment but a sin?

Yet another to be thought,
Another war yet to be fought,
Another journey yet to take,
Inside the light yet to awake.

Don't you feel a moment pause?
Slight distress but mostly flaws,
In what is you, the way you think,
How life is seen within a blink.

Things like these remind us how,
Not a moment feels like now,
Not a soul takes time to think,
How moments pass within a wink.

So less time we seem to have,
No time to cry no time to laugh.
As out moments pass right by,
It seems we only have time to die.

But just as we get the rotten thought,
We think of the moments that are not,
Of only no's that came to been,
Of only those who thought to sin.

Yet when they tried they found,
A way to leave them spellbound,
The spells they cast on the place,
On a grateful and worthy spirited race.

So now that I've told you how,
Every moment will be now,
Every thought that lies within.
Is much more than just a sin.

                                     -Aneesha Tulluri

"Days"

Days come and pass by,

As this time seems to fly,

We live in hope that anyway,

Someday we'll all see the day...

Days are good, sometimes bad,

Sometimes these days make you mad,

Sometimes you think you can fly, (-------> me right now, half awake, half in air.)

But then you crash in a bitter lie. (-------> hopefully not me before I finish 2 more poems)

Something falls from above,

The days that are worth of love,

But sometimes all they're worth is hate,

Bitter truth, terrible fate.

If only a day was worth the time,

If only I'd found a better rhyme,

With me, my soul and my life,

'Cause my ink is my weapon, my sharp swiss knife.

What are those words that echo?

Behind my mind, voice of a gecko,

My words my diamonds, used to cut,

Cut the minds of non-thinkers shut.

For, I it is who needs to think,

For I will find and I will blink,

Will I find the answer to these days?

In god knows how many ways.

 

                                             -(A very very very very tired and sleepy) Aneesha Tulluri. 

"Luck"

A round man, tummy tucked,
Walks the road without his luck,
Not a thousand, but a few,
Of  his orders very due.

He looked for work to earn a buck,
For, this man drove a pick up truck,
This one didn't earn him though,
He didn't know which way to go.

As he walks he falls down,
Bumps his head onto the ground,
But something seems to cushion the fall,
Right back up he stands tall..

He looks at the thing that had saved,
And his head had bumped into no crusade,
But this thing wasn't existent,
in fact, it was sheer persistent.

"It was luck." he goes to say,
And proceeds to walk along his way,
As he walks, he bends down,
This time an attempt to touch the ground.

For, he had thought seen had he,
A lot of money, food to be,
But this time judgement did not fail,
As sitting there, long it hailed...

Not a few, but a thousand,
Dollars, great width to spend.
"It was luck." he goes to say,
And proceeds to walk along his way.

His path now is full of dents,
Wife dead and heart to amend,
Just then, a ring is heard,
He picks his phone, hears a word.

Eyes filled with tears of joy,
"A father you are to a healthy boy."
Hearing these words, he runs back home,
Lights flash, eyes are shown.

As he looks into his son's' eyes,
Closed shut but happiness in disguise,
He kisses the forehead of the newly born,
And once again he could've sworn...

That his wife had been oh so ill,
This baby was against her health's will..
"It was luck." he goes to say,
And walks his life along this way.

                                             -Aneesha Tulluri. 

"Heaven"

Where witty comebacks turn to worthless hours,
Where the spirit of children is forever devoured,
Where one can never see the distant shame,
This place called heaven, forever the same.

Where be mountains, hills and misty stops,
Where one fragile heart never stops,
Where no patter is heard of pouring rain,
This place called heaven, forever insane.

Where you and I are I and you,
Where looking simply at things we do,
Our humble spirits touch the fame,
This place called heaven, forever the same.

Where nothing is of value, especially a heart,
Where one doesn't know where to start,
Where love is simply a violent game,
This place called heaven, forever untamed.

Where a few words break a million hearts,
Where confidence shatters, pain it starts,
Where the smallest of souls forget their aim,
This place called heaven, forever the same.

Where men are hunted for their skin,
Where women are reminded of their sins,
Where one disabled is simply lame
This place called heaven, forever holds name.

                                                        -Aneesha Tulluri.


(P.S. This poem is about Hollywood. Of course I didn't need to explain that..it just ruined everything. Ugh. Why do I always mess things up?)

"Empty Minds."

Here's to all the empty minds,
Here's to all the mysterious finds,
Here's to the culture that forever binds,
All of us people, many of kinds.

Here's to all those in doubt,
What to even be thinking about,
A mind so empty, hidden behind,
Here's to all those empty minds.

Here's to the darkness behind the light,
Here's to your conscience, forever that fights,
Inside you are empty, empty as a hole,
Here's to all those empty souls.

Here's to the answer to your questions within,
Here's to the mercy to all your sins,
Your mind may be empty but whole be your heart,
Here's to you, a work of art.

The struggle is real, real is pain,
Is he thinking or am I insane?
Is anything real behind all blind?
Is anything within an empty mind?

I look deep, deep within,
I look at the places where I've been,
I look through every single page,
The world is blurred, life is a stage.
 
                                                   -Aneesha Tulluri.

"Fate"

No matter how much you might fear,
No matter how much you may wait,
You know nothings always here,
Except you, me and our bitter fate.

Bitter I use to describe this form ,
Of our cold, hard luck deformed,
As sweet it may be at times,
But reason it is for all the crimes.

It plays a game as if running wild,
It's the reason for every mother and child,
It's the fear behind ones wait,
Just the work of what we call fate.

It's all written some place I say,
It's just a matter of the roles we play,
Perfectly balanced, too good to be true,
Too much related to the things we do.

"If only I'd written the perfect book."
"If only I didn't care of how I look."
"If only that day I hadn't feared."
Well my darlings, I'd have to be deared.

It was all written long before,
Before you were even made mi amor,
Before this very universe was born,
Before had come this blissful morn'.

                                                  -Aneesha Tulluri.

"Blame"

For the world lack of bitter truth,
Don't you dare blame the youth,
For we may rise and we may fall,
But in the end we'll be standing tall.

We are the future, forever young,
We are a song, forever unsung,
We are the darkness behind the light,
Soaring high, we're stringless kites.

We will be stupid, forever this dumb,
Always mistaken for being this young,
But mind your mouth that utters those words,
For our innocence was killed by your swords.

Now let's stand up for some time,
Look at a world full of crimes,
The lies, the censorship, of those who rule,
Shows us how the world can be so cruel.

This goes on and there's no truth,
No truth in blaming on the youth,
For, all the times we decide to fall,
It takes to be brave to stand back tall.

So let the wind blow midst the night,
We will fight with all our might,
Knowing what's wrong we'll do what's right,
For, we be the darkness behind the light.

                                                            -Aneesha Tulluri.

"Your Child"

When you utter those words,
When you say what you do,
I promise that none,
Can come right through,
From my mind- to your ears,
Even though I know the tears..
Familiar they are to my eyes,
Even though I know the lies,
See I've been crying for a while,
Knowing I'll never be your child,
The one who laughs, the one who smiles,
The one who's known for miles and miles,
The one whose praises are always heard,
The one whose name is a golden word,
The one who'll remember all you say,
And whose every answer is just, "Okay.",
For I know me, I'm not that child,
I'm crazy, I'm angry, long gone wild,
All I want is to make you proud,
So you'll say my name just as loud,
As I cry inside everyday,
Fighting the monster of dismay.

                                              -Aneesha Tulluri.

"Hallucinations"

She looks in the mirror,
As if giving it a bad eye,
Things getting clearer,
Her world was a lie..

All those pretty mountains,
Those luscious green trees,
Those enchanting fountains,
That cold morning breeze.

Now lay she on the floor,
Among the darkest hours,
Without any door,
Her spirit forever devours.

Hallucinations they were,
For, forever she was trapped,
A lie she looked for,
Not touched or trapped.

It had always been this way,
She was lying to herself.
There was nothing she could say,
Except, "I'll save myself.".

Then she sees them come,
Through the darkest eye,
Holding their precious plums,
She tells herself it's a lie.

They slowly came closer,
Covered in black cloth,
She calls him a poser,
A dirty ....... sloth.

He didn't back down,
Closer he came,
On his face no frown,
He liked this game.

"Stop." she calls out,
"Don't you dare come near."
He grins without doubt,
A grin that strikes fear.

It spreads through her body,
Nerve by nerve,
Her  head kept noddin',
His smile an endless curve.

She looks at him once,
Before closing her eyes,
Leaving into the darkness for once,
Where no-one could hear her cries.
     
                                                    -Aneesha Tulluri

"Shy"

I creep behind the sheets of the bed,
For, making eye to eye contact is pretty dread,
I'd rather stay in here instead,
"Don't wake me up!" my mother I plead.

She didn't listen, to my despise,
Time to find a new disguise,
For, the bus is coming to take to school..
Don't want to make myself a fool.

I throw on some old rags,
And look at my mother as she nags,
"Get some guts, my poor child.",
"Do something exciting, go wild for a while."

I ignore her words and move to the bus,
The first time I do so, without any fuss,
I move inside and I'm scared of stares,
From people almost everywhere.

I sit down, right at the back,
I'll make no noise, not a crack!
I'll just sit here until I die,
For I'm so bitter, dreadfully shy..  

As my thoughts and time while away,
I hear a thud to my dismay,
Reached we have the destination of rule,
It was time for me to face our school....

I get down last, slowly did it,
The bus was moving, brightly lit,
I stare at the building standing tall,
And I, into the hands of it fall..

I get to class, sit right back,
Remembering all the skills I lack,
Oh god! Why did I even come here?
Embarrassment always so very near.

Just then, I hear a friendly sound,
The shout of  a new friend I found..
"Are you new?" I dare to ask,
"Yes I am, I love your mask!"

Compliments are very rare,
On the mask in my bag or my hair,
I love to hear them oh so much!
If only I'd gotten more as such.

I start to talk for the first time,
We even make a funny rhyme,
That finally I've found,
Of my breed another hound.
         
                                          -Aneesha Tulluri

"Care"

You say you don't care,
'Cause society's always there,
But instead of watching your back,
They remind you of what you lack.

They talk and talk as much,
They look with eyes such,
That no-one ever dares.
To neglect their stares.

Those cold bitter lies,
Those disrespectful eyes,
You know that they've been talking,
Just by the way they're walking.

They force you into being,
Anyone but yourself,
Those people that you're seeing,
All are someone else.

Those acts that they put on,
As if all is bad is gone,
As if they're just as perfect,
As all they seem to reflect.

The truth isn't flawless,
We all do have flaws,
Yet none can fail to impress,
To drop all our jaws.

-Aneesha Tulluri